Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Toy Camera Print Auction - Katrina Benefit

    Butterfly, 2004
    taken with Diana Camera

Here is the image that I have donated for an Online Katrina Relief Benefit Auction in conjunction with other contributors at and thanks to the efforts of Susan Burnstine. This is an excellent opportunity to collect signature images by internationally reknowned toy camera photographers and do a small something to help others as well.

Go to the Online Auction Page to place your bids!

Many thanks, Susan!

Friday, July 29, 2005

All Roads

    Hand of Constantine
    taken with Diana Camera

Sorry for the lack of updates but I have been on a couple of trips back to back and then haven't been doing much scanning / blogging this summer. The first trip was more of a camping trip with some rockclimbing thrown in and the second was a trip to Italy, kind of short but excellent. So, bear with me as I will probably draw out these images over the next couple of weeks. I did have a toy camera peculiar malady infect one of my Diana cameras. A light leak happened in a camera that previously had been light tight. So, I lost a number of images to a strangely shaped distraction but such is life with plastic cameras I guess. Most of the film was alright actually though as I had a second Diana with me. I am not believing this is terribly interesting but am just rationalizing to myself how I have so few worthy images after visiting such an amazing place.

Which reminds me of another trip, many years back where I shot up a lot of film and the images, while technically okay, were not very lively. I have started to believe that taking pictures as a tourist is a pretty challenging proposition. The severe gravitation of 'postcard' vistas coupled with the shallow comprehension of life's energies in a strange environment, I believe, set up the photographer to make ordinary photos. I would love to go back though without feeling the compulsion to walk ten miles a day to see as much as I could. And there appear to be a few good images from what I can see so far.

So, this image is the one that I actually looked forward to making. I am not sure why but having seen this statue in other pictures - one from Ralph Gibson maybe? - I have always thought Rome would be a truly awesome place with stuff like this strewn about. And it is. This was seen in the Palazzo dei Conservatori.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The Weather is Here...

    A Boy with his Tiger
    taken with Diana Camera

Staying with the summer drinking theme but reeling it in a little from my recent survey of would be rednecks. Kids + tigers. I call them Kigerds.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Searching for Mr. Write

    This would be my cousin, Sparky, all growed up now.
    taken with Holga Camera

I have been mostly offline for a couple of weeks. The summer is probably going to do that to me a few times. Anyway... after browsing the recent stats to my website, I thought it interesting to note what search word strings that some people have used on search engines to find my site. There have been a lot of people who have used my name or the blog title and this is to be expected I guess. What was unexpected was the strange combinations of words that have been mentioned somewhere on the blog but when combined in a search string, Gord Is Dead is actually one of the popular hits.

Here are a few of the more unlikely searches that have brought people here:

on Yahoo... "nice breasts"
on Yahoo... "lobster boy" + "florida murder"
on Yahoo... "waitress skinned knees"
on Yahoo... "mandolin teacher richmond virginia"
on Yahoo... "bulging breasts"
on Yahoo... "1001 things to do in your life"
on Yahoo... "sexy polyester pants"
on Yahoo... "motorcycle rally pictures"

on Google... "dorothy hammill photo"
on Google... "taking it from behind" + "art photos"
on Google... "mods holga"
on Google... "gibsonton florida circus"
on Google... "holga wideangle"
on Google... "linda connor pop toning"
on Google... "liberty in chains"
on Google... "dead january 2005" + "jazz"
on Google... "bonnaroo scanner"
on Google... "damion rice tour"

So, with these somewhat surprising search strings in mind, I thought if I added some other strategic words and celebrity names to my blog, then I would be sure to lure more quality patrons to my humble establishment so that they, too, might learn so much more about dynamic words such as these. Life is circular and so is my logic.

In no particular order, I give you my searchitifically designed collection of words.

Onomatopoeia, Charo, unscrupulous, splendor, Bourbon Street, chorus, lutenary, cog, Penn & Teller, Engelbert Humperdink, flouride, bang, redly, quark, Judas Priest, Mercury, no fuss, low fuss, fusspot, ablution, ziggurat, fawning, mackerel, yogurt, peppered steak, love handles, cowlick, irritable bowel syndrome + rockclimbing, PFC, ligatures, storied franchise, fatty acids, Okinawa, Cheetos, Paris Hilton + Arch Druid, Three Musketeers, champion of the undeserving, cockerel, repudiate, taste buds, imaginary friend, chlamydia, brown teeth, Venice Beach, lily-livered, leaping lizards, overgrown child, silk stockings, expatriates, Sonny Bono, Sammy Sosa, Big Band Collections, ginsu knives, deus ex machina, torpor, peripatetic, stencils, jewelry heist, forest for the trees, Toon Army, spake as a child, paint huffing, hypnotist collector, Twister + collapsed lung, Rosebud, stilted speech, bum, big bum, Britney Spears photos, Larry Flynt, pow, biff, charred to a crisp, armageddon + milk duds, high colonic, hair weave, good cholesterol, mean streak, Manny Moore, Hoovervilles, girl on girl action, Abba and clam bake.

Feel free to add your own dynamic words by way of a comment. I would be much obliged.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Sisterhood of the Polyester Pants

    taken with Holga Camera

This would be Marge and the Whiz. Cheer up, Margaret. More from last weekend. I have a lot of these photos actually but need to get out and shoot something besides hoedowns. Summer is here though. Swimming pools and Movies Stars. Black gold. Texas tea. Let me tell you a story about a man named Jed. Poor old mountaineer barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shooting at some food and up from the ground came a bubbling crude...

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Liberty In Chains

    taken with Diana Camera

Another image from the archives. A well-known symbol with a shot of cynicism. Funny but there wasn't even a hint of irony in the actual situation. A roadside stop selling statuary and such. Just simple folk worrying that their Liberty might be stolen. Pretty much like the rest of us really.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

The Very Sexy Clemise

    taken with Holga Camera

This is Elroy's old lady, Clemise, as she wandered her tequila soaked pathway of sexy self-destruction.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Jarvis & Elroy

    taken with Holga Camera

From a party last weekend. Friends of mine looking very classy. Elroy drove us home which probably says something about how I was doing also.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Random Image from Archives #11

    taken with Rolleiflex TLR

I am running some film later today but felt like I should post up something... this is from a shoot with Bruce Hornsby a couple of years back.

Thursday, May 19, 2005


    taken with Holga Camera

Here is a portrait of a dog I met a few months ago. Seeing him, the first thought is 'damn.' But he is beautiful. Blind as well. I spent a few hours with him last week and he quietly raised hell in my studio. Dalmations are high strung and energetic generally but take away their eyesight and this guy was nose to the floor checking out everything. Bump and back up and go another direction. Not a great subject for lights and stands and a controlled shoot. But he is handsome. I have a couple more rolls to process but I hope to hang out with him again.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Sunday, May 15, 2005

If You Can Read This

    taken with Diana Camera

From a Motorcycle rally last weekend. Not too many people and the pictures are few as well... but this one is amusing somewhat.

Friday, May 13, 2005

When Hail Freezes Over

    taken with Diana Camera

Here is a just processed image but a few months old. From one of those rolls that was shot some time ago and I wasn't really quite sure what was on it any longer. For a landscape, I kind of like this one.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Random Image from Archives #9

    taken with Rolleiflex TLR

Willie Wisely circa 1999. Excellent jangly pop musician who I believe is out there plying his trade in Los Angeles these days.

Also, thanks for the scanner recommendations. I may contact some of you offline to discuss the Epson 4870 especially. I did have the Minolta D'Image Scan Multi II which was excellent but it is becoming archaeic. Trying to figure if repair is an option.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Random Image from Archives #8

    taken with Rolleiflex TLR

Beginning to shop for new scanners. Any ideas for a solid Medium format scanner out there? It is funny but I realize just how much time I am not in the darkroom since I started scanning negatives a couple of years ago. This might be good for me really but I would like to get something here pretty soon. Any advice is appreciated.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Good Action

    taken with Diana Camera

Feeling better the last couple of days, getting some things done. Life is good, so the archive image du jour is all speed and Spring and skinned knees. Maybe to make a few photos today then. Tomorrow, though, I am heading to a Psychic festival and Bikini Motorcycle wash. So I've got that going for me.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


    taken with Rolleiflex TLR

Scannerless, Day 6 - Digging deep with this one. From back in the days before I'd begun using toys seriously. From when I lived in San Francisco. Somewhere in North Beach.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Strange Is Going To Do You Good

    taken with Olympus 35mm Camera

I have a head cold / flu thing going. So, this be my avatar for poor health. Remember to drink plenty of fluids.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

House On the Rock

    taken with Holga Camera

No scanner for a while I am thinking, so we are still on our misty eyed tour through the dusty caverns of yesteryear. House on the Rock is in Wisconsin. somehere within a couple of hours of Madison I think. It has been a while. Anyway, it is a great place to check out. Basically it is a shambling museum of sorts with all manner of carzy collected stuff. Apparently an eccentric wealthy guy had a world traveling, kitsch buying penchant and since he has passed I believe that his people are continuing the tradition. You have pneumatic orchestras, every different Burma Shave roadside advertisement, dollhouses, miniatures of every description, the world's largest carousel - I think it is the largest but it is definitely the kinkiest. They have museum class artifacts from various cultures alongside scantily clad flying women mannequins. The guy had a thing for breasts. It is worth the trip if you are ever in the area.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Beer and a Ballgame

    Justin Verlander, 2004
    taken with Diana Camera

The Richmond Braves are soon under way and it is near time for a cold American beer. None of that murky foreign bilge that comes with celery sticks and fuzzy umbrellas. Give me a clear mountain flag-waving pale yellow beer. Mmmm. Not much of a baseball fan really but it is a great thing to do once or twice a year. This image was shot for Virginia Living a year or so ago, thus qualifying for the busted scanner nostalgia parade.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Another Wily Apparition

    taken with Diana Camera

Another older image as it looks like my scanner part is on back order. But I fear it might be something other than the bulb and that I might be looking for a new medium format scanner before too long. The software for my increasingly primitive Minolta scanner was designed by a professional wrestler after a toad licking bender, so update availability is presently unclear. It all depends upon whether the Minoan Mangler has come down from his amphibious delusions and returned to working the beta shareware circuit or not.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Gray Day in Spring

    taken with Holga Camera

My scanner has been hobbled by a torn hamstring, so I am breaking out a veteran image once more. Just as well really as the ease of scanning images makes me a little lazy. I should be in the darkroom anyway.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Camel Unfiltered

    taken with Holga Camera

Again from the Holyland Experience. They had a few animals there along with all of the spiritual theatrics. It was strange that they didn't have too much in the way of rides. Who wouldn't want to ride on the Holy Moses Log Flume? Or the Redemption Rocket? Or the To Hell and Back Fun House? Or Bible Thumper Cars? I know I would.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Gibsonton, Florida

    taken with Holga Camera

We met Brian while checking out Gibsonton, Florida. Gibsonton is a town where a lot of circus folk would live when they were not on the road. There wasn't too much to see as most of the famed personalities have already passed. We had coffee and pie at the Giant's Camp and snapped a few photos. Later today, time permitting, I'll post a link or two to some of the lore surrounding Gibsonton. Jeannie "The Half Girl", the giant himself and the "Lobster Boy Murder" to name a few.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

And On the Seventh Day...

    taken with Diana Camera

She did passeth out from exhaustion and excessive frivolity. This image is from Bonnaroo last summer. Am trying to figure out how to get there again this summer. This was the last day before packing out of the campground. I have maybe a dozen photos of people passed out that last afternoon but this one I like.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Profound, Mystical and Very Dangerous Place

    taken with Diana Camera

Also from the trip to Florida. This is from a secret mystical place guarded by bloodless sprites deep in the jungle bordered by countless miles of barren and unpeopled desert. And it absolutely did not cost a hundred dollars a head to gain entrance. I swear.

P.S. Yesterday, I uploaded a bunch of photographs to Flickr if you feel like checking out some other work...

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Nice Breasts

    taken with Diana Camera

This is an older image but I thought I would trot it out there because it has just been published in the current issue of JPG Magazine, published by Heather Champ and Derek Powazek. Haven't seen it myself yet but the first issue was pretty excellent.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Universal Showdown

    taken with Holga Camera

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Friday, April 15, 2005

Gone But Not Forgotten

    taken with Holga Camera

This is the tomb where our musical Jesus was buried but get this, the next day he wasn't there anymore. So, it turns out that he was okay afterall.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

More from the Holyland

    taken with Diana Camera

From The Holyland Experience in Orlando. Here is a black and white image of the same Passion Play as the digital image a few posts back. So the daily performance of the passion was a essentially a Crucifixion Musical. This guy was Matthew Broderick's understudy.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Captain America

    taken with Diana Camera

From Universal Studios in Orlando.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Florida Fried Kitsch

    taken with Holga 35mm

We are back from our trip in Florida. Basically, we balanced my appetite for the roadside attraction with my son's interest in animals and roller coasters. We hit a Renaissance Fair in Tampa, Weeki Wachi Springs where they have put on mermaid shows for many years, Sea World and some other miscellany. I guess i will be posting images for a while as the film is developed. I did explode my Diana camera on the pavement at the Holyland Experience. But other than that, I am hoping some good images will come of the trip. Hard to count on anything before actually seeing the results though. As this was the first time I have packed a digital camera on a roadtrip, I now need to figure out how I am going to get those images printed out. And while I remain devoted to analog photography, it was nice to have a digital camera at times I have to say. So, more to come.

Friday, April 01, 2005

The Holyland Experience

    taken with Canon Rebel XT

After doing a quick pass through Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, we headed for the Holyland. This is kind of a sinfotainment park. We arrived in time for the Crucifixion Musical Medley. Then had time for a bite at the Oasis Palms Cafe. Goliath Burger, Arabian Chicken and a Ceasar's Delight for dessert. Not enough time, or even enough words for that matter, to describe this experience right now. Hopefully the photos will hold up.

Now we are off to a Medieval Banquet for dinner. Visual overstimulation. Mmmmm.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Poseidon's Ruins

    taken with Canon Rebel XT

Still in Orlando today. We stopped to pick up a UV filter for my camera and while talking about possible things to do, the camera store owner gave us a couple of free passes to Universal Studios which would expire after today. So we spent the day riding roller coasters, and checking out various movie inspired rides. While taking photos of the X-Men who were cruising around on ATV's, all super and everything, I got a thumbs up from Captain America, who asked, "Is that a Holga?" I was somewhat surprised really but then realized that he is Captain America after all. Figures...

Otherwise, took a lot of photos... not the highest of expectations but roller coasters make for a pretty good day, good pictures or no. Tomorrow, we will probably take off out of Orlando, head towards Tampa. We'll see, there is a lifetime's worth of eye candy here still, so maybe one more day.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


    taken with Diana camera

We decided to head to Florida for Spring Break. Basically, we are looking at 4 or so days of intense kitsch tourism. I will post some digital images until I can get some analog images up after we get back. The first day, we stopped in at Gatorland, near Orlando. Great place. Found a place to crash, had a beer and hung it up for the night.

Possible highlights, include: Dinosaur World, Universal Studios, The Holyland Experience, Cassadega, Gibsonton, Sea World is a definite, An Airboat Ride maybe, a lot of tacky roadside stuff, mini-golf, etc... probably going to skip Disney unless we decide to hit the Epcot Center. So sit tight, keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times. And enjoy the ride... Woo hoo.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

From the Incongruent Undergarment File

    Taken with Rolleiflex TLR Camera

An older image...  a found pair of panties in the middle of nowhere really.  Minnesota to be more precise.  I am not sure of the significance.  But there has to be a reason, right?

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Shower Scene

    Taken with Holga Camera, Closeup Filter

Cue the violins... Ja, Ja, Ja... Son, Son, Son... Reee, Reeee, Reee... Seems a little Hitchcock ominous to me this one. This is a recent image which is kind of new to me stylewise. Namely I am putting together a group of images that are a little too intimate but still non descript, estranged from their realities. I am trying, and maybe not successfully, to avoid being just another guy that photographs women. You know the type. I actually think like this type of photographer at times but damn if most everyone's nudes are not pretty damn tired. So, I am trying to get at something sugggestive and personal and beautiful but all of that without the emphasis being on tits and ass. The style I think flirts with too sweet and simple but what the hell, it is all in process and so has no real benchmark as yet.

Also, if you are looking for things to do, you can check out the The 2005 PhotoBloggies where I have been nominated as one of the best blogs featuring Toy Camera pohotography. There are some very cool sites in several categories really. Enjoy.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

A Good Egg

Taken with Holga Camera loaded with 35mm

That same morning, another of God's creatures, Chester, was finally awakened by having rolled over into the drool he had busily secreted, with septum rattling, mouth agape, for the last half hour or so. There were no dreams to haunt Chester this morning. He tormented himself quite well enough thank you. But truth be known, he seldom dreamed, or at least, he seldom remembered any. Indeed, he seldom remembered anything be it waking or dreaming. Subliminal phantoms, bitter recriminations, scathing self-doubt... all of these dark and cerebral harbingers, were relative strangers to Chester.

As he rose from the edge of his futon, careening without balance, his left arm extended forward, bracing against the thin tapestry depicting the Tree of Life. Legs stepping across each other in a thick-blooded rush, his right hand massaging his scalp, where his hair was hurting him. As it often did the morning after the night before. Slamming his shoulder into the frame of the door, he was off to the shitter. Dry mouth. Numb to the noise from the restaurant churning out omelettes and frittatas below. He clumsily voided his bodily fluids in and around the toilet, all the while bracing himself against the facing wall, plain stucco, again with his outstretched hand. Had he a thought in his head, he would have perhaps given thanks for vertical surfaces. Or he might have imagined himself in a world with lateral gravity, a spaceman who could float along by leaning his body in a given direction, guiding his graceful figure through all manner of difficult apartment floorplans. But he still had plenty of time before any thoughts would see fit to travel across the desiccated mental terrain stretching within the young head of Chester. There was still coffee to make, a bagel maybe if there should be any in the fridge, but first order will be to salt a glass of seltzer water and slam it down, still foaming. Plenty of time before thinking. Involuntary morning habits will carry him clear until he can slump at the kitchen table and hopefully Maro and Sara will have already left for school. A new day. A clean slate so to speak. And reason on such a virginal and promising day may as well be a four-letter word to one gangly, low functioning, no-longer stoned but not quite sober, twenty-five year old.

Now with a towel draped over his head and the coffee maker, reality comes knocking. Chester, not ready to answer, mutters 'oh fuck!' to no one in particular. Leaving reality to straggle away, rubbing its wrist and muttering expletives about Chester getting his and soon. Without aid then, Chester decides it is time for him to reconstruct the events of the previous evening. It would seem that Chester had been to a party. At Brianna's? It would seem that there had been a garage band. And though he wasn't absolutely sure, Chester thought that he had remembered signing his soul over to the devil. Well, not the devil exactly, but it was certainly one of the Devil's clever henchmen, or henchpersons, anyway. While this had been somewhat discouraging at the time, it was all a bit easier to handle in retrospect. Coffee now in hand, brainstem rehydrating, Chester recalled not really knowing anybody at the party. He had wandered over after work because his ex-girlfriend had left him a message about a ska band at her friends place. So, he had wandered in and grabbed a Grolsh from the fridge and posted up next to the basement stairs. Rolling along pretty good, listening to some blue beat while the kids basically bobbed around like pistons, like persons going nowhere and loving it.

Knowing Chester, you may well have wondered why that rascally Archfiend would waste his time recruited this particular young man to join his dark legion, as so far in his young life he had not demonstrated much in the way of Goodliness. Nary a noble warrior trait to be observed in the young stoner. But he has always been a pretty nice guy and following the slippery mischief of the Dark Lord, there must be some longcomings mixed in with all of Chester's short ones.

So, when the young hippie guy came gamboling over, dancing to some other tune, carrying his petition to legalize - what? - legalize something, pot perhaps, and Chester, who had himself smoked a little of the wicked weed, the Devil's very own it is said, sort of presumed that he was cool with this young smiling off-beat dancing guy. And he signed. A few clumsy swipes of the pen and then the wildly smiling young man was gone. Not stopping to ask anyone else to sign, not even looking around the crowd at all really. Young hippie mad a syncopated dancing break straight for the exit. What the hell was up with that? Why me, Chester thought, and his senses were swimming, abstracted, listing their way around familiar ideas, recognizing but never reaching the shores of reason. There were thoughts of the munchies, there were libidinous instincts, articulated smoothly by saying 'Hey' every now and then, there was that guy still grinning but nowhere to be seen, Our young friend was getting a little distressed and pushed himself off of the wall and reeled towards the stairs where the Rasta clad serpent had run to. He wasn't upstairs though. And He wasn't out on the lawn where the keg doled out its own ancient wisdom to some thirty mostly young men, wringing wet, more and more like yard apes with each drink. And the music, drums falling on the second and fourth beats, his heart now in time, our hero readied himself for his eternal plunge. If you had asked him how he was feeling, he might have answered 'Cold.' But this was usually his way and nothing unusual. When stoned, Chester would generally have a hard time acclimating to environment, no matter the temperature. So this thermal sensitivity and these scattered visions of bacchanalian excess, the brilliant clatter of percussive rocksteady. It all was normal enough but where the fuck had that little hippie gone to? And off Chester wandered, hoping that somewhere down the block... at Dos Tacos... at the Back Door... Somewhere...

Some might say that a guy like Chester was simply a tottering folly-fallen congregation of wasted vapors but those people would be unnecessarily wordy. It would likely be simpler to muse upon Chester's plight as something unfair. Why? How? It is so much easier to wonder helplessly how a generally nice guy could be so easily deprived of eternal salvation. Perhaps though, it was only the Devil's weed, and not the Devil himself, that has executed such a cruel and tormenting hoax upon such a good natured, though simple-minded, fellow as our friend Chester. Perhaps, after a little party remorse and a couple of Bloody Mary's down at Millie's, Chester might wander out of these fractured shallows of hallucinatory regrets. And even though it must be said that Chester is to self-awareness what the bucket is to the burgeoning information industry, perhaps, just perhaps, he might be a good egg afterall. And it is a new day really. When you think about it.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Introducing the Gimcrack Cinema

I have added a couple of things onto my website. Namely a link here and also I am introducing the Gimcrack Cinema where quotes and images are randomly paired. It is an imperfect apparatus. But interesting.

    "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"

    ~ William Shakespeare

If you wish to check it out, then you can go to Eye Caramba and then click on "Gimcrack Cinema".

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Negatives Gone Missing

Taken with Diana Camera

I am not the most organized of people but I generally can put my hands on a negative when the need arises. I really like this image but last week when wanting to get it printed up... I couldn't find it. I have a couple of large, nice prints of this image still, so I can probably do a decent copy or scan of it but still I will be disappointed if I cannot find it. Anyway, here it is.

Upon learning that Bush, and now the Senate, have appproved opening Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling, this is the only image I can find that strikes a chord for me. A turd in the hand is worth two in a Bush. It would seem that Boy King George is fixing to dump another one on us. Would it kill us to do something sane such as up the Auto Manufacturer's Fleet MPG requirements by say 10 miles per gallon or so. Or must we continue to f*ck things up without interruption.

Last week, in conversation, it occured to me that human kind is rather like a bacterial infection. Intent only upon our own survival, we ravage the healthy tissues that support us. We are killing our host and ourselves along with it.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005


    Taken with Holga Camera

I took this image last summer in Southern Pines, North Carolina. One of the creepier places I have been, this place was a combination Creationism Museum and Taxidermy Hall of Fame. Basically there was a self-guided tour through a staggering amount of stuffed varmints and Right Wing propaganda. Throw in several display cases of old tools, various 'profane' objects marking our collective descent into this our hell on earth, i.e. CD's, books, keychains and such that any good God fearing person would take a match to. Thanks be to these brave souls that dare harbor these sinful objects so as to instruct the rest of us as to the godlessness of the Bee Gees and their death spewing acolytes. Throughout this oddysey of oddities, sprinkled around the wood-burned scripture, were various mounts of large game and ordinary forest creatures filling cramped corridors and ill-lit corners, along with stoplights and barbed wire, golf artifacts... though some of the little critters looked as though they had been fashioned by paint-huffing Orks from bits of hair and straw. Not sure I understand how these particular obsessions, taxidermy and creation, came together but it was a pure half hour of raw entertainment, nay... Salvationtainment! But I was glad to get the hell off of that Dark Ark.

I have been listening to W's address to the National Defense University on NPR. He said that authoritarian rule in the Middle East is the "last gasp of a discredited past". I am left wondering how anyone can take him seriously considering his / our discredited past. As for the paper president above, the real thing is far scarier to me...

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Loose Id Dreaming

    Taken with Holga Camera

... this had been going on for what seemed like a goddamned eternity. Sweat poured down his face, into his eyes, mouth, over every inch of his swollen and struggling figure, the sheets draped in moist contoured simulation of a grotesquely bloated body writhing beneath. His hands clutched madly against the sides of the table, his bare shoulders pressed against it's slick surface, on his face could be read anger, fear perhaps, then a moment of respite, deep breaths, a vacant expression, and then, once more, uncontrollable agony, disgust, punctuated by stifled, halting noises, like screams just barely audible above the furious staccato exhalations that wracked his young body. The spray of sweat and saliva liberated by every pained throe, each guttural expletive, was illuminated by the unnatural, brilliant, sterile light that filled the room from so many directions, a glittering spray suspended in the air around his head until it would finally dissipate like an idle daydream...

"... fucking freight train... it's..."

His dark hair, hanging back, thin wet cords, painted a confused and watery portrait of wonder as it swung in tiny arcs upon the metal surface beneath him, his neck, straining forward away from the table, contracted violently upon itself until his quivering chin was pressed painfully into his aching, heaving chest. It seemed to him as though it would never end. Each wave of dilation brought a renewed flash of disbelief into his eyes and, perhaps, a dim understanding of just what it was that was happening. Somewhere he caught a glimpse of someone, his mother maybe, and voices erupted continually, floating carelessly in the air around him. Nothing made sense, none of this could possibly be happening, he thought. In fact, he had never before experienced anything like this. He prayed silently. He prayed he would not die. He could live in the shadow of this bizarre reality, he was very sure he could deal with whatever was happening as long as it wasn't over. All over. As long as he didn't die. As long as I don't die, he thought to himself, again and again. But at this moment his body had been gaining sway over his mind and its idle palaver. He had only a moment for reflection, he tried to grasp his situation, to understand the implications, the nature of his condition, and he was, after all, a rational being, then... CRACK!!... a bolt of clear blue lightning struck from somewhere just behind his eyes, singeing some seldom used tangle of ganglia, nervous comprehension faded immediately as animal fear rose excitedly to the surface, bringing with it the bubbling of strictured veins and popping joints, the muted screech of anguished flesh pulling itself across polished metal...

"... Jesus... it's... a fucking freight train..."

Somehow focusing on some point in the air, unseen, his resolve returned. And he was determined, once more, to weather the unbearable fury which he had so long held inside, which for so long he had tried to expel. By faith, by force, by reason. All to no avail. And it was still not time. But his father was there telling him something. And the pain was gone, at least so that he could now feel the aching fatigue that pressed against him, pushing him back against the slab. Surely my father must know what is happening to me, he thought, now too tired even to speak. But his father looked too concerned, too bewildered. What was he saying? But listening didn't help. Too tired. He leaned his head back, closed his eyes, thought about how his life was going to change. Thought about leaving town rather than try to live this down. Thought he was probably going to catch too much hell for this one. Would he ever be able to have sex again? Would he ever want to have sex again? Would anyone even care?... CRACK!!... it was finally time... or at least it sure as hell felt like it was time. Staring out across his grossly distended abdomen, he was paralyzed by one thought. One thought alone. The thought of rupture. Where the hell was it going to get out of there... where was it going to... but Jesus, it was already on the way... no sex ever again...ever... oh... god... there's mom again... what did she?... what was that??... but it didn't matter... nothing mattered... can't hear a thing, he thought... just once more... once more... just...


One more furious exertion at the hands of his unbidden progeny and it was over. Done. He seemed, at that moment, to have slipped away from that unsympathetic glare. His flushed expression, calm, was almost ecstatic. His breathing was regular. He was dreaming of a vast expanse of quicksand. He watched, as the surface laid in wait, dense with expectation, wiling away an endless existence, receptive, inviting. Effortlessly, he threw an enormous television into the midst of this sensual organic instability and watched gleefully as it disappeared beneath the surface. He punched a few buttons on the remote control but it seemed to be useless so he threw it in as well. He watched as the quicksand, thrilled by ingestion, bubbled appreciatively until the helpless electronic box finally slipped from sight and the flesh colored earth pulsed to heal its unnatural lesions. And then it once again appeared still. But then this peculiar oasis, beautifully strung by shimmering ribbons of heat, began to appear unsteady, somehow unsafe but no less attractive. And the glare was rudely insistent until finally he had to concentrate upon his hand if he was to see at all and then, at last, he was forced to yield, to close his eyes and then nothing seemed to...

...when he awoke to find his parents there, he experienced a tremendous wave of relief but as quickly became unsettled by their presence. He attempted to piece together this unusual reunion. Why are they here? he thought. Although he was not so rude as to voice his suspicions. His mind raced over the possible scenarios. And then there was his extraordinary physical discomfort. And this metal slab. Slowly, he was gripped by fear, all too familiar at that. Then his mother, with a smile that was a little too genuine, said, "it really isn't that unusual. It happens quite often actually, although, it is true, that it generally isn't talked about very openly, but anyway this one is quite beautiful, honestly, and if you want to keep it then it is fine with me and your father will certainly agree..." On and on she went, just like that, as though if she were to pause for only an instant, then she would most certainly collapse into tears, or worse perhaps. All the while, his head ached terribly listening to all of this, trying to make sense of any of it. His father was silent throughout but his face was drawn with such sympathy that he really couldn't bear to look at it. So, he recklessly scanned the room while his head was swimming in fear and shame - for what reason? - and fatigue and... then he focused upon a stranger a few steps directly behind his parents. A doctor, it would seem, judging from the gown and latex gloves and... but what was he holding? He couldn't see very clearly... and his mother wouldn't shut up... just what is it that... no, it can't be... no... no... NO... Jesus... oh sweet Jesus... a dog... it can't be... a DOG for Christ’s sake... and his head began to reel... and his father looked like he might collapse from the sorrow but for the incredible sense of responsibility he was actually willing to take for himself. Then the doctor stepped forward holding, it was true, a tiny puppy, some kind of shepherd mix, cute really, but then all puppies are cute, as they say... and his mother repeating over and over that this really isn't that unusual... and the doctor grinned like an absolute idiot as though he had seen all this a thousand times... and the little puppy was apparently healthy though oblivious which is natural having just been born... but then the question screamed from beneath confusion, hurtling through all the disparate elements of this young man's chaos, shattering the steady white noise and chatter of traditional postnatal hubbub... the question...

"Where did it...”

He awoke with a start. It took a moment for reality to seep into sleep laden faculties. It was a dream. It had all been a dream. Joyfully, he smiled at his complete recovery. In fact, there was nothing to even recover from. It was another morning. Ordinary in every respect. He rapturously slid his hands beneath the covers to reassure himself that everything, every thing, was, indeed, in order. He held himself for some time, not sensuously mind you, but appreciatively. And of course, he wondered what a dream such as that one might mean. Perhaps, it would be better not to tell anyone about such dreams. At least not right away. Ho, ho, but today is ordinary in every respect. Ordinary. Please underline. Four syllables, adjective denoting usual, customary, devoid of inexplicable anatomical aberrations. Ordinary.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

The Gates in Snow

    Taken with Diana Camera

Well, as I expected, I have made a lot of barely adequate pictures of various small parts of The Gates by Christo & Jeanne Claude. It is one of those subjects that sort of defies photography. I have looked at a lot of web based images and have not seen a great image really anywhere. Though I am sure they do exist.

P.S. on the New York City notes... We went down to Times Square before leaving and also made it to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. While making photos, a taxi splashed a rooster tail of freezing water on me, hick tourist that I am. So, as you might imagine, I was thrilled with the attention. Or chilled maybe. Anyway, I may post a few more of these images if they are worthwhile.

Monday, February 21, 2005

New York City

    Taken with Rolleiflex TLR Camera

We are heading home today after having spent the last four days in New York City. Primarily, we came to see The Gates by Christo and Jeanne Claude. And pictures will follow if they are any good. I have to say that I thought it was a great installation. The observations I have heard over the last few days run from 'Neat' on down to "Just think of what could have been accomplished or how many people could have been fed with the $23 million it took to complete this project." Conceptually, I wonder if there isn't a more dynamic subject in New York but it is hard to dismiss the effect of all the burnt orange trails winding through Central Park in winter. But is it frivolous? Yes, probably. The money went somewhere though just as it always does; and jobs were created; people brought together; the arts were/are supported and promoted; ideas and conversations were provoked, exchanged, encouraged; the materials will be recycled; the park was transformed, then returned to itself again with no sign of construction, no downed trees, no holes, etc.; and though I haven't read the fine print, I understand that proceeds go to the New York City Park System and I believe a conservancy as well. So, though it may be frivolous, something wholly original did take place.

I am basically of the opinion that much of art is frivolous when considered solely for its direct material impact upon the lives of others. Mine included. So much navel gazing, so many idle obsessions and esoteric thoughts. But collectively there is an intangible power in the process. Crafting objects and caring about them is what made earlier societies different from, and essentially more beautiful than ours. In all of our rampant production and crass materialism, the percentage of objects that are carefully and lovingingly made today is getting smaller and smaller. This point was underlined for me as well this weekend, when we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We checked out the Temple of Dendur, funerary crafts, armor and arms, ornamental jewelry from earlier cultures, great impressionist works, and so on throughout 5000 years of man trying to realize his/her potential, connect somehow with hisown existence. And those of us who were lucky enough to be milling about, in our machine stitched clothing, with our cell phones on vibrate, our uplinked PDA's, with our robot-fashioned cars waiting outside, we are lucky to have anything unique at all in our lives. Unless we have made it ourselves. So, all things considered, I thought The Gates was excellent really. And of course, the Met was amazing as well.

Last night, it snowed about six inches, and so I got up early to check out the park in the snow. While there, I noticed a small group of people sort of moving as a group and learned from a couple of circling photographers that it was Christo and Jeanne Claude. They were out to see how their work looked in the snow. It was very sweet really. They are small people, made smaller by age, and were walking arm in arm through the park seemingly oblivious to the posse around them. But pleasant. Smiling and walking and talking to themselves. It was raining and pretty dark actually but I think I might have recorded their blur. We'll have to wait and see. But the memory is good. Anyway, some newer images will follow. I haven't made that digital camera purchase just yet, so it will be a few days.

Also, I should mention we made it to the International Center for Photography, the Museum of Modern Art, The Lion King, Slava's Snowshow, a few random galleries, several excellent restaurants, including Gramercy Tavern with good friends. A great trip, this one.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

101 Things To Do In 1001 Days

    Taken with Holga Camera, Pinhole

Okay... so this was my original attempt at completing 101 Things To Do in 1001 Days. Based on the original idea, which comes from triplux, who has started a movement of sorts it would seem judging from the number of others following suit. And to be honest, it could have gone a bit better. I feel like I started out strong but then as I sort of fazed out of the honeymoon stage with the blog, I let things sort of slide by the wayside.

I have always been a list maker, i.e.

- Get dressed
- Feed the badgers
- Soak feet
- Make vasectomy appointment
- Watch 'Hair', the musical
- Undress
- Admire self
- Get dressed again
- etc.

As for this 101 Things To Do List, I think I completed about half of the things I set out to do and will have to endeavor to do better in the future. Some things were a little pie in the sky and some things were a little too easy but all in all, I have to say that having the list is better than not having the list. So I am putting another one together presently.

But anyway, for posterity's sake, here is the old list.

Completion Date: November 13th, 2007

The Criteria: Tasks are specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks should also be realistic and a bit off-task from the regular routine (i.e. represent some amount of work which must be done).

~ 1. Visited LA. and San Francisco - 7.19.06 thru 7.26.06
~ 2. Visited New York City - 2.17.05
3. Have portrait made at Walmart / Sears / Penney's
~ 4. Attended / photographed A Roller Derby Match, the River City Roller Girls
~ 5. Go to the theatre / 5 times -
...The Lion King, 2.18.05
...Slava's Snowshow, 2.20.05
...Volume of Smoke, 2.25.05
...The Blue Man Group, 3.12.06
...Bark, The Musical, 3.14.06

6. Visit Mexico City
7. Complete 15 Chapters of 'Untitled'
~ 8. Saw 'The Gates' by Christo, 2.18.05
9. Show work in new cities, 3x
Rotterdam, September 2007
Seattle, November 2007
~ 10. Bought a Digital Camera, 3.23.05
11. Paint a portrait
~ 12. Took a Rockclimbing Class, 6.8.05
13. Travel somewhere by train
14. Go Snowboarding
15. Cross Process some film
~ 16. Photographed Standing Stones, 6.10.07
~ 17. Bought art, 5.31.05
18. A Perfect Date each month (as defined by my date)
19. See a Vikings game
20. Visit Hawaii
21. Take Dancing lessons
22. Buy a couple of new suits
23. Sky Dive
24. Scuba Dive
~ 25. Threw a party - 6.20.06
~ 26. Framed ten photos collected from other photographers, 6.14.05
~ 27. Framed an old drawing, 6.15.05
~ 28. Build a new Darkroom with running water, 1.20.06
29. Run a half marathon (or, less likely, a marathon)
~ 30. Finally submitted images to Aperture Images, 6,28.05
~ 31. Attended Photo Lucida, 3.12.05 - 3.16.05
~ 32. Read five books recommended by five friends (no objections)
... Recommendations so far:
~ Botany of Desire, by Michael Pollan - It was excellent, many thanks to C.M. for the suggestion
~ The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini - One of the best books I have read in a long, long time. Thanks to R.G.for the suggestion
~ Austerlitz, by W.G. Sebald - I had trouble getting through this one, the story was sort of submerged beneath the overly excellent prose. Thanks to P.D. at Chop Suey Books for the suggestion
~ Chronicles, Vol. 1, by Bob Dylan- Very funny. Renewed my appreciation for Daniel Lanois. Thanks to R.J. for suggestion
TechGnosis : Myth, Magic, and Mysticism in the Age of Information, by Erik Davis - Thanks to M.R.

33. Get a physical / G.I. whatever you call it
34. Volunteer : (Habitat 4 Humanity or new / different)
~ 35. Went to a comedy club, 6.24.05, 7.3.05
~ 36. Visited Atlanta, October for Atlanta Celebrates Photography
~ 37. Visited Italy, 7.18.05
~ 38. Wrote a song, State of Mind, 2.11.06
~ 39. Visited the Mutter Museum - 7.27.06
~ 40. Spent the day walking, 7.22.05
~ 41. Spent the day biking, Amsterdam, 7.17.05
42. Go to Southside Speedway
~ 43. Got rid of the huge piece of TV furniture, 3.22.05
44. Make Sushi
45. Make Homemade beer / wine
~ 46. Replanted Gardens, Spring 2007
47. Public Kareoke
~ 48. Start lessons for a new instrument, mandolin, 4.12.05
~ 49. Went to the Psychic Festival, had a couple of readings, 5.7.05
~ 50. Got a new passport, 7.12.05
~ 51. Used it, 7.15.05
52. Go Horseback Riding
53. Ask my parents to do something they want to do
54. Ditto just Mom; Ditto just Dad
55. Ditto Brother & Sister
~ 56. Visit FoamHenge, 1.15.06
57. Visit Egypt
~ 58. Cooked from & threw a dinner party (from Best of Everything), 1.23.07
59. Write a Children's Book
60. Collaborate with someone
61. Attend services / visit a Mosque
62. Attend services / visit a Jewish Temple
63. Attend services / visit a Buddhist Temple
64. Attend a powwow
~ 65. Visited a couple of waterfalls, North Carolina, 6.27.05
~ 66. Rented a convertible - 6.7.06
~ 67. Get together a promotional CDR, 3.5.05
~ 68. Baked Bread, recipe for Pumpkin Bread, 2.26.05
69. Read 5 Classics ignored to this point
~ 70. Made soup in the winter
71. Don't Speak for an Entire Day
72. Carve Something out of Wood
73. Write a Thank You note to an old teacher
74. Find an old friend
~ 75. Camping with Walker
76. Make Flavored Vinegar
77. Host a Mystery Dinner
~ 78. Cleaned the Basement, 3.7.05
79. Write a letter a week
80. Mess around with Super 8
~ 81. Nice weather & No work = Sunday Roadtrip
82. Get photos to someone who has given up on them (3x)
83. Store my crap somewhere else
84. Get some photo gear/cards going (via CafePress or similar...)
~ 85. Each Room, Five things to Charity, 3.8.05
86. Visit Cuba
~ 87. Go Ice Skating, 4.23.05
88. Curate a Toy Camera Show
~ 89. Made large Iris prints, approx. 30" x 30"
~ 90. Archery with Walker, with friends, 2.26.05
~ 91. Visited a Castle, Castel San Angelo, 7.21.05
92. Go to Sundance ( or SXSW would be cool again )
93. Swim in a lake
94. Weld something
~ 95. Celebrated Solstice
96. Walker's Mix #5, #6
97. Chalk Drawings
98. Refinish Dining Room Table (or any other piece of furniture)
99. Go tubing
~ 100. Got a Chiminea for the backyard, 6.16.05
~ 101. Made Bread Pudding, 2.18.07

Also, I have thought of these along the way...

Stay in a haunted house or hotel
Start up a Dream Book

Monday, February 14, 2005

O valentine, this I endure for thee!

~ Sylvia, in response to the First Outlaw when he says,

"Come, I must bring you to our captain's cave:
Fear not; he bears an honourable mind,
And will not use a woman lawlessly."

from The Two Gentlemen From Verona

    Taken with Holga Camera

There is no end to the treacherous material gambits that we set out to amuse ourselves, or, even more inisidiously, that we employ to test the mettle of others. This high and sentimental holiday, I'm giving my baby some chocolate and some crabcake bling. Chocolate sauce actually. Mmmm.

Which reminds me... Hey Rebecca... Yes, I am talking to you. I am feeling like I cannot be completely candid here for fear of mooditudinal reprisal from a certain beautiful sibling of yours. Can we make some kind of arrangement whereby, I can speak my mind however absurd and it isn't taken off-line to the land where real people behave strangely and sensitive people like me are so misunderstood. Sometime say, when I might want to write for effect about being Condoleeza's backdoor love slave because I have strangely come to enjoy taking it from behind from our Republican administration. But then I must remember to check myself because my scribular indiscretions might make it to the attention of specific and lovely others and then I will be frowned at. Frowns like mystical fists of disdain. When those same lyrically spiritually evolved others are generally so unamused by me that they wouldn't read my adolescent ramblings anyway. What do you say?

Why O why can I not prostitute the trust and goodness of my loved ones for the amusement of blog skiting strangers? This is so incredibly unfair!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

New Galleries up @

    Taken with Holga Camera

I have posted up some new galleries over at and expect to post a couple more over the next few weeks. If you use toy cameras at all, you should consider posting some images there as the first gallery is free and there is a new system in place that allows you to manage your galleries... is an online collective of photographers who use plastic cameras, such as Diana or Holga cameras and there is a wealth of knowledge in the forum. This is where I have gotten many of my modification ideas.

Thanks for enduring the shameless plug. Ah... for a second there I forgot this was a blog and the fact that it is 'shameless' should be taken for granted. Cheers.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Dreaming of Ghosts

    Taken with Holga Camera, Closeup Filter

What to say about this one? I'll string some thoughts together later. I have to head out this minute. More closeup stuff the last few days but this one seems to jump out at me. Dreams, death, rest, sleeping. ghosts, beauty... and on and on.

I have been trying to make sense of things lately... Shit, gotta go. Enjoy. Comment and give me something to riff on, would you? Otherwise, I am going to have to get into a semi-lurid dream I had last night. Not the real hard stuff but still lots of id tinctured lady thoughts...

Monday, February 07, 2005

Post Cosmetic Disorder

    Taken with Holga Camera

Feeling bleary after a late night. But must say that I have long had a thing for the beehive hairstyles of old. We had dinnner out with friends for my birthday and all was excellent. Good food, drinks, great hair. Exciting stuff, fooled around with a fisheye lens strapped to a Holga. Nice night, though one of my friends was actually falling a sleep at the table at the night's end. So, we are all a little older, I suppose. Metabolism slowing, must... at... least... finish... this... thought.... Snnrhhhk...